What frustrates you most about cohousing?

[Mary B.]

No doubt about it, while cohousing offers many advantages, including a sense of community, it also presents unique challenges. What frustrates you most?

People who don't carry their weight in teamwork? Ill-defined boundaries? Consensus-bombing? Slow process? Share your ilks here and I'll bet you'll find like-hearted souls who commiserate!

[Brian]

I love everything about cohousing. What frustrates me most is people who are not (yet) residents of cohousing and rely upon misconceptions about what it is like. The blanket answer from many of them seems to be, "that's great that there are those who choose that life but it's not for me."

Clearly, they have not experienced the compassion, support, tolerance, and vibrancy of living in this manner. I feel sorry for them, honestly.

Brian
Milagro Co-housing

[JasminaJ]

This would be an interesting discussion for me if more folks would chime in. Our condo assoc. is considering becoming a cohousing, which on the one hand I think is kind of exciting. But on the other hand, I've talked to people who moved out of cohousing specifically because they didn't like it and felt their needs were not being met. Would anticipating some of these problems help us build in solutions?

[Mary B.]

Did your friends who moved out describe the source(s) of their dissatisfaction? That might help us address those specific concerns.

Also, if you browse the cohousing.org L-list (which has been around a long time)you'll find lots of interesting topics where members across the US chime in on various hot topics. lists.cohousing.org/archives/cohousing-l/threads.html

[JasminaJ]

Thanks, Mary. I didn't really understand their concerns, or maybe I couldn't really comprehend them having not experienced living in a cohousing yet. Next time I see them, I will ask them to be more specific.

I tried to join the cohousing.org discussion site, but I can't really figure out how to work it. It seems to be a relic from the 1980s? I'm a millenial, so maybe I'm just a dummy that way.

[garyronstadt]

There shouldn't be anything frustrating about cohousing. Any group issue can be worked out through consensus or majority. So any lingering frustrations would, I think, just be emotional debris that members need to work on personally.